Ekrem Çulfa Dr Ekrem Çulfa Aile Evlilik Çift Terapistleri
Uzman Klinik Psikolog Hatice Büşra KARA
busra.kara@icloud.com
RELATIONSHIP SATISFIED AND MARRIAGE EXPECTATION
15/11/2021
Humans are social beings. Accordingly, being in close relationships adds
meaning to an individual's life and meets their physical and emotional needs.
Parental relations, sibling relations, friend relations and peer relations fall
under this heading, while romantic relationships that contain feelings of love
and love also fall under the title of close relationships. Romantic relationships
are a step taken by individuals who have characteristics such as attachment,
belonging, emotional support, on the way to marriage, where they can realize
physical, spiritual and mental union. It also includes periods such as
verbalism and engagement, which allow the partners to get to know each other
and evaluate their agreement with each other, with personal, social and legal
opportunities. Following the engagement and engagement periods, the process is
expected to reach marriage. Romantic relationships contribute to individuals in
terms of their social development, being in harmony with the environment,
providing material and moral satisfaction, and being aware of their
responsibilities in life. It is thought that the continuity of romantic relationships is related
to getting satisfaction from the relationship. Individuals who are satisfied
with their relationships can have longer-term relationships. Relationship
satisfaction is the sum of the emotions, thoughts and behaviors that express
the individual's evaluation of the quality of the relationship. If these
evaluations are positive, it means that satisfaction is obtained from the
relationship, and if it is negative, it means that satisfaction is not
obtained. It can be concluded that it is important for couples to be satisfied
with their close relationships for a sustainable healthy relationship.
Relationship satisfaction is related to the variables of expectations about
marriage, attitudes towards marriage and attachment styles. Marriage expectation is explained as individuals' dreams of seeing
themselves as a couple in their marriage. Expectations include the beliefs of
the couples towards marriage and the roles they will assume in their married
life. Marriage expectations of couples are predictors of relationship quality
and relationship satisfaction. Unrealistic expectations for marriage may lead
to dissatisfaction in the romantic relationship. It is known that the increase
in divorce rates is associated with the inability of individuals to be
satisfied with their marital life, and unrealistic expectations lie at the root
of this dissatisfaction. High expectations for marriage lead to unhappiness in
relationships. Individuals' attitudes, opinions and feelings towards marriage
at the stage of marriage decision have effects on the satisfaction they will
get from the relationship and the success of the marriage relationship. Romantic relationship is a type of close relationship and expresses the
bond established between two people, love. One of the most important factors
that ensures the continuity of a romantic relationship is relationship
satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction; It is explained by definitions such as
continuity, quality and harmony in a romantic relationship, positive feelings
about the relationship, and the absence of any dissatisfaction in the
relationship. It is a psychological satisfaction obtained by the love that the
partners show to each other in a romantic relationship, meeting the needs
mutually, and sharing positive and negative relationship experiences. A high
level of relationship satisfaction causes constructive reactions to any problem
in relationships, while a decrease in relationship satisfaction leads to
destructive reactions. If the satisfaction obtained from a relationship is
high, the commitment in the relationship is high; It is known that if the
satisfaction obtained from the relationship is low, the level of abandonment
and ignoring increases. It is stated that the empathetic approaches of the couples towards each
other increase the relationship satisfaction. It is known that individuals with
problem-solving skills are more satisfied with their relationships. Depressive
attitudes reduce relationship satisfaction. Compared to those who flirt, verbal and engaged individuals are more
satisfied with their relationships. In this case, being engaged or verbal may
indicate that the bond between the partners is stronger. When we look at the concepts that basically affect attitudes towards
marriage, family attitudes, age, gender and economic variables, living together
outside of marriage, religion and education can be mentioned. The ongoing
change in the institution of marriage affects the plans and attitudes of
individuals towards marriage and establishing a family. Perspective on
marriage, thoughts and views on marriage can be defined as attitudes towards
marriage.Marriage attitude is related to individuals' expectations from
marriage, the meanings they attribute to marriage and future family
relationships. Decisions taken before marriage completely affect human life. Failure to
meet the expectations of individuals about harmony after marriage can lead to
divorce and affect their life satisfaction. This makes it important to
understand the marriage attitudes of individuals before marriage takes place.
Attitudes and expectations about the relationship can be counted as important
factors that affect the sustainability of the relationship and the decisions to
be taken about the relationship. Positive and negative attitudes towards
marriage; Relationship satisfaction can affect subsequent behaviors such as
beliefs about relationships, marriage decisions, and behavior patterns adopted
in the relationship. Positive attitudes include positive beliefs about marriage
and family life, and negative attitudes include negative beliefs about marriage
and family life. The positive and negative attitudes of individuals on the subject of
marriage, their beliefs about relationships, and the way they behave in their
relationships affect the behaviors and decisions of individuals regarding
marriage.Positive marriage attitudes increase the efforts of individuals to
maintain their personal relationships and shape their behaviors in this
direction. It can be thought that attitudes towards marriage also include
attitudes towards mate selection. High expectations, unrealistic beliefs and
attitudes formed in line with the wrong conclusions drawn from past experiences
can be reflected in the mate selection process and lead individuals to seek an
"ideal partner". Unrealistic beliefs and high expectations reduce the
harmony in the marital relationship. Gender differences affect attitudes towards marriage. It is emphasized
that women look at marriage more realistically than men. Expectation can be defined as what is expected and hoped to happen.
Interpersonal relationships are based on mutual expectations. It can be seen as
a remarkable situation that the expectations of the spouses from each other are
clear in the institution of marriage.Individuals have expectations from their
partners on many issues such as parenting, friendship, sexuality, intimacy and
equality. In the marital relationship, especially individuals whose emotional
needs are met find marriage more meaningful and want to continue it.
Individuals are expected to be emotionally and personally satisfied with the
marital relationship. As a result, the expectations of the couples have an
impact on the quality and duration of the marriage. Couples who have different expectations for the relationship begin to
move away from each other over time. When relationships and expectations are
incompatible, individuals feel dissatisfied. Unmet expectations can reveal the
possibility of divorce. It is difficult to meet high and unrealistic
expectations regarding marriage, and if they are not met, it causes unhappiness
in the relationship. It is known that couples who have realistic thoughts about
marriage can cope more effectively with the problems they face in their
marriage. Individuals shape the way they communicate, their behavior in the face
of an event, and their expectations for the people they are in contact with
through their own family life. The relationship status of their parents is
effective in the expectations of individuals regarding their marriage.
Individuals with parents with negative marital relationships lower their
expectations in order to minimize possible disappointments in their own
marriage. Individuals whose parents are together have positive marriage
expectations. Individuals whose parents are separated have negative marriage
expectations. Recommendations for These Processes In order to ensure the continuity of the romantic relationship of the
individual in a healthy way; Knowing the attitudes and expectations towards
marriage, being aware of the attachment style and getting rid of its
undesirable effects can be beneficial. Raising awareness about attitudes and expectations towards marriage can be
beneficial in terms of making the right decisions about marriage in the
pre-marital period. It is important for individuals who are in a romantic relationship before
marriage to know how much they are satisfied with their relationships and to
recognize the variables that affect their relationship satisfaction, in terms
of affecting the quality of their relationships. Couple and family counselors can provide appropriate service to their
clients depending on the fact that their relationship satisfaction is affected
by the independent variables in the research (marriage expectation, avoidant
attachment). They provide individual psychological counseling services that aim to
understand the extent to which individuals are satisfied with their
relationships, the factors that predict their satisfaction from their
relationships, and to see how this satisfaction affects the quality of the
relationship. It is possible to contribute to the awareness of individuals in pre-marital
periods by including free seminars and conferences and educational and
informative studies on the predictors of relationship satisfaction; can be
maintained, and they can be supported to establish a healthy and satisfying relationship. REFERENCES Alavi M., Alahdad R., Shafeq
S.M., 2014. Mate selection criteria among postgraduate students in Malaysia. Procedia-Social
and Behavioral Sciences. 116, pp. 5075- 5080. Amato, P. R., 2007.
Transformative processes in marriage: Some thoughts from a sociologist. Journal
of Marriage and Family. 69 (2), pp. 305-309. Eidelson, R.J., & Epstein,
N., 1982. Cognition and relationship maladjustment: Development of a measure of
dysfunctional relationship beliefs. Journal of Consulting and
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managers and the gendered construction of personal relationships. Journal of
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& Adler, N. L., 1988. Romantic relationships: Love, satisfaction, and
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anatomisi. İstanbul: Say Yayınları. Park, S. S., & Rosén, L.
A., 2013. The marital scales: measurement of intent, attitudes, and aspects
regarding marital relationships. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 54
(4), pp. 295-312. Towler, A. J. &
Stuhlmacher, A.F., 2013. Attachment styles, relationship satisfaction and
well-being in working women. The Journal of Social Psychology. 153 (3),
pp. 279-298. Clinical Psychologist Hatice Büşra KARA busra.kara@icloud.com |
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